Knitting, Net Repairing…

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cricket nettingSeems like everyone’s had their fair share of bullying at school. Hey, even the bullies were bullied; that’s what made them bullies in the first place.

I remember my time, which was a brief period in year 3. I’d just visited Gran over the summer holidays and she’d taught me all the intricacies of knitting. I was so excited to bring all my knowledge back to my school chums that I didn’t really consider what I was doing. Honestly, I think most people were pretty impressed, but you know how it goes with bullies: anything different is easy prey. It wasn’t until I used my immense knitting skill to fix the soccer nets after they got torn that people started to respect me again. That’s I realised: I could make a career out of this! Sports netting gets such a pounding from all sides, at all times. There’s always got to be someone who goes around and fixes them. I know, it doesn’t sound like knitting has very much in common with mending nets, but the skills are more transferable than you’d think. Both require a steady hand, needles of some variety and load of patience. Neither command as much respect as they should, as well. Still, people way back in school seemed to think it was pretty cool that I could fix the nets when they got broken. I bet if I ever took up fishing I’d be that fishing buddy everyone wants to invite along, on account of my amazing cricket net fixing skills.

Didn’t though. In fact, most people will just replace their sports netting nowadays instead of calling in a specialist. Makes sense…I possess a rare skill, and I can’t be everywhere at once. But if you ever need someone to fix your cricket nets, or…make you a nice jumper…I’m the guy.

-Rupert

Moving on up

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So over the last couple of weeks I’ve come to the realisation that it’s high time I make some radical design changes around the office. Really, this should have been obvious for some time. I mean, I have a pair of eyes, I can see for myself that our current setup just really isn’t working for anyone involved, but the whole thing just seemed like a lot of work so I guess I just put it all to one side. But after a couple of comments from several different clients, it’s really become an issue I can no longer afford to avoid. My office space needs a makeover.

The problem is, I’m not sure how on earth to do that. With the way the business has grown over the last few years, it would be foolish to think we can go on exactly as we have done. Things need to change if we’re going to keep ahead of ourselves. In line with that kind of thinking, I think it might be necessary to a Melbourne office design professional. Someone who really knows what they’re doing, and can use their expertise to help us create a really beautiful and productivity-enhancing space. Because that’s precisely the point. If I’m going to put lots of money into doing a big upgrade, I don’t want it to be ordinary. I want it to be extra-ordinary. I want it to be decked out with all the proper bells and whistles, to be state of the art in every meaning of the phrase.

I’ve done a little bit of preliminary research and have identified several different companies that specialise in doing targeting office space design in Melbourne, one of which looks particularly fantastic. Now it’s just a matter of getting in touch with them, communicating my vision and, of course, working out the numbers.

More Houses. Bring Me More.

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Melbourne home staging for saleYou know, I’ve always wondered how people make their houses so nice for selling. We’ve been home-hunting for a good few months now, mostly because I revel in looking at other people’s properties so much that I never want it to end. We’ll have to pick one soon, though. Mack’s losing his patience and we’re only three months married.

Alright, so clearly I should’ve been a real estate agent, but also…a house staging expert. Or agent, maybe, not really sure what they call themselves. That’s why all these houses look so marvellous when we go to see them, and I suppose the main reason for my minor addiction to this house hunt. It’s all just so pretty, but natural, like you could just walk in and claim it as your own! Maybe not so natural for me, because if that was the case then here would be piles of ironing and probably a few more unwashed dishes. Recently-married life, we’re still sorting out a few things. Didn’t expect Mack to be so…well, house-proud. That’ll definitely come in handy, once he stops naggign me about it. It’s a lot worse living in a unit out the back of his parents’ home, but that’s neither here nor there. What’s here AND there is that I feel like working in an office is no longer my true calling. Not so! Chalk it down to how much I love houses and being nosey, but I really feel like I could have a flair for this home staging thing. I’m not so house proud when it comes to my own space, but I could totally go to someone else’s place and rearrange everything so it’s looking wonderful and everyone who enters will want to pay with cash right there on the spot. That sure is a lot of cash, but it’d just be a testament to my skills.

First things first, I suppose; we need a home of our own! I wonder if the Melbourne property staging people require you to submit a photo of your own place on the resume. You know, so they can see your skills with your own place. Guess I have to become house-proud!

-Anita

Don’t Do Crime. But If You DO…

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motivational speakersCommitting a crime was probably the best decision ever.

Alright, that’s a bad start. With what I just learned at the seminar you’d think I wouldn’t say stupid stuff like that. But then, here we go…more stupid stuff. I guess you just can’t help some parts of yourself. But yeah, I’ve made some really bad decisions. In my defence, I got really addicted to the thrill of stealing cars, and I didn’t have much else in my life besides thrills so…anyway, I got in some trouble, more than usual. Instead of jail time I had to go along to a conference for people straightening out their lives. And I’m thinking…motivational speakers, whatever. Nothing anyone can say is going to make me all good and sweet and nice and not a criminal on the inside. Some things are just broken and can’t be fixed with a bit of motivational speaking.

Well, that’s still pretty much true. But then, you can’t underestimate how words can give you the power to change yourself, even in tiny, baby steps. I was at that conference for eight hours, and I needed to hear pretty much everything. There I was surrounded by a bunch of criminals and drongos, all of whom looked like they severely needed a good kick up the butt. Like me, yeah. But then, there’s something about getting talked to for that many hours in a row that really makes it sink it. I began to realise what was being pounded into my head: it was all on me. I had the power to change myself, I’m the only one who can. Oh, and I definitely could. I wasn’t weak, because no one truly is unless they tell themselves that they are. Eventually I began to believe it, and even take notes so I could stick them on the wall and really grow to understand what they meant.

I’m not sure what comes next, but I’m feeling really pumped up. Really motivated, you might say. Guess I shouldn’t have been so disparaging about inspirational speakers. They really do inspire!

-Ron

The Kitchen Must Sparkle…

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Dandenong pest controlThe best thing about working from home: pajamas. No, but seriously, pajamas all the way, forever, all the time, thanks very much. There’s nothing more comfortable, even when I’m baking and I have to put on the apron over the top. Something about standing there in my cosiest getup, baking cakes and biscuits for clients, just makes me feel so warm inside, and outside as well. So yep, never going into an office. I don’t think I’d be able to take the pressure of dressing up nice.

The downside? Well, you have to be able to keep things clean. My business depends on things being spick and span, and it’s not like I have cleaners that come at the end of the day and do it all for me. Makes me a bit paranoid, if I’m honest. Just think about what you’d be like if you saw some ants, or a rat in your office breakroom. You’d shrug and tell the boss, maybe. Meanwhile I see one ant and I make a panicked call to my local Pakenham pest control experts. They now know me by my first name and usually start by telling me to calm down. That’s how familiar we’ve gotten.

I suppose I’ve also learned to deal with things myself. I just dread he day when the health inspector comes over, I’ve made everything sparkle like it’s newer than new, only to have a cockroach scuttle across their clipboard. Oh, the horror! Or worse, I have nightmares about delivering a cake to a wedding and unveiling it in front of the bride, only for her to gaze upon a half-eaten cake infested with ants. That’s when I wake up in a cold sweat and reach for the phone to call the pest control people again, even in the middle of the night. I should stop being paranoid, particularly since I spent a fortune making my cleaning supplies a veritable force for good against dirt and grime. There’s only so much you can do, really, and if you keep food around then little critters and going to come for it. One day they’ll come for me, I just know it. They’re out there, somewhere. Maybe Dandenong. Pest control will save my business one day, mark my words!

-Misty

Making the Best of the Play Centre

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bayside kids party venueMust I continue to tolerate the other children? So long as I hide my genius from the world, I suppose the answer is a cantankerous ‘yes’ for the time being. Oh, what a misfortune to befall a mind such as mine!

The issues of other seven-year-olds just do not fascinate me, and along the same vein, I am perplexed by their constant need for play instead of a healthy balance with that of work. Work is the only thing that truly completes a person in the end.

There’s this place at the end of the road, a new indoor play centre here in Bayswater. The parents seem to have gotten the idea into their heads that I’d like to visit on a regular basis, and to maintain my cover, I must play along and pretend I find all this thrilling. My first few visits were dreary affairs, as I gain little pleasure from playing in a ball pit and using slides. However, I soon turned these opportunities into study sessions. The winding tunnels of the play equipment provide ample space for me to pull out my notepad and perhaps make calculations on the mass of the structure, detailed estimations as to exactly how many balls are in the pit and the precise mass that the safety netting would be able to withstand. I have no real opportunity to conduct clinical trials, but these are interesting enough conundrums that cannot be carried out in the home. Our home is so very dull, and I have no other children to observe in their favoured habitat.

Oh, it’s favoured alright. They seem to love all the climbing and such, with many of them applying their imagination in ways that, I must admit, are somewhat impressive. One young girl with a teddy bear commands the rest of the children with such ferocity that i think she must have a successful political career ahead of her.

No matter. The parents believe this particular Bayswater kids party venue is my favourite place to be. It’s variety, at least.

-Edward

A busted ute canopy

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service bodiesI know I’m going to sound like someone just trying to avoid the consequences of their actions, but this really wasn’t my fault. If anything, it was the fault of the guy who sold me this ute in the first place. It was in perfect working condition, he said. Almost brand new. Barely used. What a load of bull.

Yesterday, at about three o’clock in the afternoon, I was driving to an appointment from work. As you’d expect, the roads weren’t particularly busy or anything, which was a good thing, since without my knowledge, the ute canopy that had come with this car when I bought it second hand was buckling under the pressure. Sitting in the driver’s seat, I didn’t feel it at all when the thing broke, spilling its contents out the back onto the road. Thank goodness, it only caused a minor dent in the front of the car behind me – an accident like that could have killed someone.

Although I’m pretty annoyed about the whole thing – causing someone else to have an accident is never a nice feeling – I have to look at this from a practical point of view. In my line of work, everyone needs cars with functional service bodies. It’s just a part of the job. Problem is, at the moment I really can’t afford anything too fancy. I mean, there’s a reason I bought this car second hand. So I spent a couple of hours this morning scouring the internet, looking for a high quality company that can work with my ute to find a solution.

At the moment, I’ve found a couple of Melbourne based companies that look like they can handle this kind of thing, but they all deal with these amazing aluminium ute canopies. I feel like something that high quality is going to be a little out of my price range. Worth a shot though.

The farmer and his livestock shed

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livestock shedIt’s not easy, making a living from creative work. People keep telling me I could get a bit of work as a copywriter to keep myself financially stable, or maybe I could branch out a bit and do some editing. Living at home doesn’t help much. At least I have my own little space in Tamworth, granny flats are actually pretty cool.

But I’ve made my decision, my resolve is strong. I’m going to make money from my short stories and books about Tamworth, even if they’re often rejected. I often spend half of my entire day writing and half looking for places that’ll accept my writing, often with no stories accepted for the day…but Ingrid Righton managed it. So can I!

And alright, maybe it doesn’t help that I’ve taken a vow to only write stories about people in Tamworth. My last tale was about a man who worked hard at his farm to keep his family fed and afford a livestock sheds. Tamworth has a rather large farming community and most them have a few heads of cattle. This famer works so hard that he ends up pushing his family away and eventually ends up travelling to a foreign land.

Look, it sounds a bit odd when you sum up an entire short story in just a few words. It’s meant to be a heartfelt tale of wonder and woe, from the perspective of a broken man who just wants sheds for his livestock.

Writing from the perspective of a farmer was tough. I had to capture the proper tone of elegance, but lacking in permanency. That one took me an entire day and about six cups of coffee, but I got there in the end. No one’s yet accepted it, but I’m hoping to submit to some leasing offices to feature on their blogs, as a cautionary tale of working too hard and falling in love with a material thing.

My next story is actually a novella, about a woman who was one day late to her tax return appointment and how it causes her life to collapse. It’s not farming, but at least I now know all about tax returns!

Before and after the property staging

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property stagingRetrospect: the kind of gift that would’ve been nice to have before you went and made a big mess of things. Though that would defeat the purpose, yeah, yeah…

Anyway, the old shack is sold and I’m living in a new places with fewer electrical problems and a door that doesn’t throw in the towel in a stiff breeze. Life is good from that perspective, but once again the old junk mail has given me pause for thought. There are people in Melbourne who do property staging, if you can believe it. Wasn’t too sure of the meaning when I read it on the flyer, but apparently they come around to your house like those people on the housing shows that Nina loves so much and make it presentable. And not just shifting around the sofas either. These people do full interior decorating, wallpapering, making sure you have the nicest taps so that people can walk around your home and gush about how they want to pay MORE than the asking price, probably. I guess if you’re good enough, you can get the price up from the get-go.

I still can’t believe I sold my old place. Pretty sure if I got Melbourne based property staging experts in, they’d faint in the doorway. It’s not MY fault, because I have been taught in the ways of DIY and I can do basic stuff. It’s just that when the door is coming off its hinges, the wallpaper was bought at an antiques roadshow and the decking is a crumbly canyon of ankle-grabbing death, there’s not much you can do to improve it. I should visit the old place and confirm my suspicions that they knocked it down and started again. Still, I would’ve liked to know what a property staging professional thought of the place. Maybe if we just moved the sofa over the hole in the wall, put a nice rug over the decking…things may not have been too bad.

Wedding Video and The Joys of Planning

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wedding videos MelbourneOh, weddings. How they bring families together!

So yeah, everyone hates each other now. Really unfortunate. Mum and Dad wanted to have the reception in the garden to save costs, but Lacey is piling on so many stipulations that it’s become impossible to reason with her. She wants tents, but everyone now has to move down to the patio to hear the speeches, so we’ll need fifty chairs just for that purpose, which means getting up the ramp is going to be a nightmare…

And so on. I’m just staying out of it and carrying heavy objects when someone asks me. Oh, and I was tasked with finding someone in Melbourne that does wedding videography, because I’m doing a videography course and Lacey designed to trust me with this one thing. I get it, I have contacts, and it really wasn’t hard. For a long while I considered doing it myself. I’m not fully qualified, but I’ve done interning for a few friends who are into wedding videos and that involved following them round for the whole day. It’s a lot of work, but I thought I’d be up for it.

Of course, I then went and told Lacey and she reacted like I’d accidentally spilled corrosive acid all over her wedding dress. She apologised later, said she’d been in the middle of choosing the colour of the table runners (periwinkle) and was incredibly stressed. I got the message loud and clear, though. Professionals only , because this is her special day. Not Ryan’s special day, mind; he’s the groom, but I hardly hear him mentioned when he’s not around.

Anyway, wedding videos, Melbourne’s finest, got it…though I’m going to tell them to use an extremely long lens and keep their distance. If this is what Lacey’s like now, I don’t want to see her on the actual day. Although she will have a camera on her…

-Harrison