Frankie’s Plan

For the first challenge on Australia’s Next Top Office, we’ve been asked to start outside by building a glass balustrade for our balconies. It certainly wasn’t what I was expecting, but I’m up for any trial they can throw at me! I want the kids back in my class to view this show and see that their awesome teacher, Ms Frankie, can do anything. And that means they can achieve anything they want to as well!

I’ve been doing a lot of research before the actual challenge period begins. I’m sure the other contestants were smart enough to do that as well. These days you can learn pretty much anything on the internet. So I’ve watched plenty of videos on glass repair and balustrade installation. I think I have a pretty good idea of what to do now. The competition is fierce, though. I’ll have to play this strategically if I want to win. Not just this specific game, but the whole show in general. If I race ahead and show that I’m a real threat, I’ll be putting a target on my back. It might be worth throwing the challenge altogether so that nobody expects much from me going forward. I’ll still try, though. Maybe I just won’t try my absolute hardest.

The good thing about all this research is that I could become a glass balustrade specialist, Melbourne having plenty of glass-filled offices, if I ever wanted to leave my teaching career. At the very least I’ll be able to teach my glass all about it. They’re sure to love the new material. It’s certainly better than studying mathematics or anything else that’s actually on the curriculum. How boring! Schools don’t do enough to prepare students for the real world, which is why I teach them about taxes, plumbing and everything in between. 

Okay, I need to stop reminiscing about my job and focus on the task ahead. Let’s do this thing, but not too well! Let’s do an adequate job of making a glass balustrade and finish in third place!

Anybody Like Glass Balustrades for Christmas?

glass balustrades“This Christmas, give the gift of…cards. Give a gift card.”

Ughh, I swear…Christmas is the harshest of times for advertisers, and by extension, advertising agencies. Everyone is competing with everyone else to create the perfect bit of advertising gold that squeezes out both tears and wallets, and the bottom-rung agencies like us get stuck advertising the worst stuff. I spent all day today trying to come up with a unique angle for gift cards. GIFT CARDS. I’m sorry, but if you get someone special to you a gift card, then you’re a bad person.

Meanwhile, Joe sitting next to me gets the glaziers. Experts in Melbourne who specialise in high-quality glass services, blah blah drone blah! There’s so much to say on the subject of glazing compared to gift cards, it makes me sick. I swear, Joe times his commute so he always gets to the office two minutes before me and swipes all the good clients. No, don’t leave any glaziers for me, Joe. I’ll write about gift cards and private investigator firms, all the while trying to follow a brief that instructs me to ‘inject a dose of festive cheer.’ Merry Christmas! Unless your spouse is cheating on you, in which case, not a merry Christmas at all.

Not that window repairs and glass balustrading is exactly festive, but still, it’s ostensibly a gift. A husband could have the stairs remodelled in time for Christmas day. They could have the lounge windows extensively remodelled. And then there’s the new year to consider, with everyone making changes and getting stuff done to the house.

I know gift cards are ostensibly gifts, but there’s not much to say about them, and I still maintain that they don’t make *good* presents. Not good like waking up on Christmas morning to find that Father Christmas has come in the night and remodelled your staircase into elegant glass balustrading. Now THAT would be a Christmas to remember.

-Ali