So where was I? That’s right, my poor recently deceased cat was stuck half way down the drain and the pipe exploded. Water was gushing everywhere. I had no choice but to bolt the door behind me by wedging a kitchen chair between it and the floor. I could see the door rattling as the water pressure increased and I knew it wouldn’t hold. I had no choice but to run out on the street where I’d be safe from the eruption of plaster, timber and tiles. Then I promptly called the plumbers. Melbourne plumbers can be there in the nick of time, but alas, I feared they wouldn’t be speedy enough to save the day….
The plumbers arrived. I was hesitant to reveal what the problem was, but I had to confess because I knew they’d find out in the end. I was embarrassed about having had such a dumb idea. But the plumber informed me that many people have made this mistake. He said that Melbourne’s pipe and drain system is practically a pet cemetery — and not just for goldfish. People have flushed guinea pigs, chickens and even chihuahuas down there. This made me feel slightly less stupid, even though I was responsible for blocked drains in Melbourne. The plumbers were brave. They went in their fearlessly bracing against the spurting toilet water through the house. Meanwhile, I cowered around the corner for a drink at my local while they did their thing. I don’t know how they did it, but they removed the blockage and patched up that drain in no time at all.
The whole affair taught me a valuable lesson. Not just that cats block drains when you try to flush them down the toilet. But also that a cat’s spirit belongs somewhere other than the sea… but maybe not the earth either. Perhaps on a fence or high perch, or within a box. Cats seem to like boxes.