Gardening leads to sewer repair

drain clearing MelbourneI get the feeling that it won’t be too long before I can call myself a real man. Every day I make sure that my eco friendly house and my loving family are safe and taken care of the best I can. I even do what I can to take care of the planet. I’m a big recycled and encourage others to be the same. I don’t waste water and always turn off appliances when I leave a room. My family get annoyed sometimes when I flip a switch and they are still in the room. It’s happened when my wife is in the bathroom a few times, you can hear her yelling from next door. When my wife and I were looking at houses to buy we couldn’t find one that was satisfactory for a number of environmental reasons. In the end we decided it best to take the plunge and build our own
sustainable house. Melbourne gets a lot of rain so having a very large water tank under the house was a no brainer. We picked a location that got plenty of sunlight so we could cover the roof in solar panels. We had a lot of help from our sustainable home builder, Melbourne has a lot of environmentally conscious folk who care about the world we’re leaving behind. If everyone put more effort into energy efficient house design when the world could half it’s power consumption. My wife thinks that it’s cute when I get on my soap box about world issues. I’m just doing my part, like most decent people out there are doing theirs. I still don’t really feel like a man though, I mean I’m  not sure how to describe it.

The first real test for me begins when the drain cleaning team arrive to fix our plumbing problems. My wife has been saying we’ve got back plumbing for years but nothing seems to fix it. From what I’ve been told, they’re professionals and real experts in drain clearing, Melbourne is home to many skilled residents. They are coming to fix the broken pipes leading to the sewer system. I was doing a spot of gardening when I accidentally hit a pipe with my shovel. I was planting mandarin trees and wanted to get down nice and deep into the soil. At first I think that I had only just dented the pipe, but then the hole started to fill with foul water and I had to run away. I’m sure It won’t take them long to fix the problem, I figure there will be a lot of digging involved. I’m sure I could help out with a shovel, I feel bad paying someone else to dig up my lawn when I was the one who made the mistake. My wife is glad we decided to get an expert to repair the blocked sewer, Melbourne has rules that dictate what you do with sewer pipes. I wouldn’t know the first things about drain repair, except that it involves pipes of some kind. Perhaps I’ll be able to do some gardening while the drain team are outside so I can get some inside tips on what they do.

Silky smooth legs for graduation

laser hair removal MelbourneThis is going to sound crazy but It took me like three whole months to chose the right deb dress for school. There was no way I would settle for a basic off the rack ball gown. I demanded from my parents a unique dress that would allow me to shine. Growing up I have always been given the very finest in life. My friends call me princess and I’m quite happy with that nickname. I had a fitting with my dress designer in Melbourne recently and I made a lot of changes. They may be the designer but I’m the one that has to wear the gown. I have an appointment booked in at the local laser hair removal clinic, Melbourne is getting ready to break out the hot weather and I want to be shorts ready. Look, I don’t exactly have a ton of leg hair or anything, I’m blonde so it’s not something I have to worry about much.

Laser hair removal is just insurance, it’s something I do just in case. I do have a boyfriend after all, and yes it’s getting serious. Still, I like to have regular hair removal to maintain my silky smooth legs. It’s my aim to always look just as good with clothes as without them, it’s why I do yoga four times a week. My mother insists that we attend the most prestigious beauty clinic in Melbourne. We have a day booked in together for a few treatments. Mostly it’s for mum, I’m there to keep her company and provide moral support. She always gets a little nervous before she gets the wrinkle injections, Melbourne ladies are naturally wrinkle free, don’t you know? My mother is 40 but she looks about 35 so whatever she is doing it works. With all the cosmetic treatments and the laser hair removal I had a feeling I was going to be the most beautiful girl at my graduation. Girls like me do have a reputation to uphold.

Carpet stained by volcano

carpet cleaning MelbourneI had a science project due in a few days time and my partner was at my house to study one afternoon. We were trying to put the finishing touches on the project and get it looking really great so we got a better grade. We had built a giant paper mache volcano that was designed to erupt in class. We’d made colourful lava from basic household ingredients and spent a lot of time decorating it to look real. We’d been given over a month to do our project but we’d managed to get the majority of it done during class time. I knew a lot of people who’d messed around in class and had to spend a lot of time outside of school getting the project done. I thought it was rather silly to leave things to the last minute. I was happy to spend time after school time on the project in order to get it done on time. My friend was putting the final touches on the volcano, adding paint at the base. It had been left to dry for a few minutes before we’d attempted to lift the whole thing up the first time. It wasn’t a big problem, definitely fixable. Everything looking perfect, we decided to move the volcano from the painting table to the dining table because it was more secure. With a loud crash and a loud screech, the volcano went tumbling down folding in the centre under the weight. Stunned and in shock I stood there staring at the pretend fake lava soaking into the carpet. Mum came running out of the kitchen and before crashing through the remains of the volcano.

She yelled for about 10 minutes. I heard her pick up her phone and I knew she was phoning upholstery cleaning Melbourne. I heard her talking frantically to the woman on the phone from the carpet cleaning place in Melbourne. She was desperate to get an appointment. Once my mother hung up the phone to the best carpet steam cleaning Melbourne has to offer she went back to yelling. We were left to try and clean up and mess and start making a new project.

Fear of Lost Keys

lost keysI’ve had a lot of experiences in the property market, worked a number of jobs and filled a lot of different roles. I’ve seen prices rise, fall, rise, rise some more and then rise again. I used to sell houses to Baby Boomers before they were actually called that, back in my real estate days. When I realised that Melbourne’s conveyancing lawyers needed some manpower, I switched careers to keep things fresh.

Still, in all my years, I’ve never seen anyone who seems terrified at finally owning a home. The handing over of the keys is always an important moment, as you’d expect. It sort of completes the whole process, without paperwork. We do all the conveyancing, everything is set in order, the house is cleaned up and ready to go (not by us, of course) and the only thing left to do is hand over the keys. Everyone else I’ve ever been through this process with has been overjoyed. Some show it less, but even the grumpiest, most un-emotional people seem to have a bit of new life when they get those little shiny objects that mean they no longer have to rent, and an entire house is theirs.

Well, all except this family. There were four of them, parents and two older children. I had three sets, and it took a bit of prodding from the others before the father would even come forward. I offered the other sets to the rest of them, but they seemed to shrink and didn’t take them. The father took the rest like they were about to explode. I asked if something was wrong, and he attempted a laugh as he explained that it was a huge responsibility, owning keys. Anything could happen. They knew the conveyancing process involved this, but perhaps they weren’t ready.

Eventually I got them out the door, after which I realised that he’d dropped a pair in the car park on the way out. And now, I’m worried. Conveyancing solicitors can’t really do much for people locked out in the rain.

Our Houses: Too Welcoming

welcomeI had the strangest thing happen yesterday. A man came to my door, very sharply dressed, and asked if my house was for sale. It wasn’t, but he said that he was very fond of it and wanted to see if we could make a deal. I usually don’t just chat to any random stranger in a suit, but he seemed like he really wanted the place. And just after that, Martha said to me over dinner that she was thinking of selling the place. How very funny.

The man had some paperwork, and I took it to my conveyancer. Melbourne has a few that I’ve used over the years, what with my family constantly moving. I don’t know, perhaps it’s something in the genes, but we just have to keep moving on. In fact, some of the conveyancing people around here know us by name. I mean, of course, I always GET a conveyancing lawyer to do the paperwork and guide us through the process. You’d think we’d be experts, but it’s just…well, you need a degree to understand all the terms. I suppose that’s why they actually study this sort of thing.

Actually, I’d almost forgotten, but a similar thing happened in our old home. We were in the front garden having a barbecue, and a young couple strolled by and started talking about the house. They said it was really close to schools, which we’ve never noticed because we don’t have kids, had a big back garden for a potential dog and the attic could potentially be used as another bedroom if there were more kids. Then they asked if we were selling the place. That time, we had a Brighton conveyancing place all lined up. Do people just know this about us? Do we move so much, people eye our homes before they’re even put on sale? What a strange thing, how that’s never occurred to me…

Drain cleaning on the horizon

drain unblocking MelbourneI was super excited, the morning of the drain cleaning had finally arrived. I sat bolt upright when I woke up and checked the time before hopping out of bed. The night before I had laid out my clothes for following day. I had a notebook full of questions on my bedside table. I ran down the stairs and headed for the kitchen. I was super hungry because I was full of nervous energy and needed to get some food in me before the drain unblocking crew arrived. I’d been looking forward to this day for the past three days, ever since the drains had gotten blocked. I was really hoping to see the plumber walk through the door so I could hang out with him and ask lots of questions. I had hoped he would have the time to tell me all about drain unblocking, Melbourne pipes are pretty old in a lot of areas and need replacing. I knew that I would probably have to following the drain expert around with my notepad asking lots of questions,

I just hope he has time to answer them all. My mother explained that the plumber was on the clock and that his time was money but I was determined. I didn’t want to be a distraction, I would leave him to his work if he said he needed to be left alone. It can’t hurt to try though, I think drains and drainage are fascinating. If you think about it, there are drains almost everywhere in the world. You are always within a few metres of a drain if you live in the suburbs or the city. I wonder what it’s like under the cities in the sewer system. Is there anything interesting down there? I am so curious about everything to do with drain inspections. Melbourne sewer system must be very elegant based on what I know about city planning.  I told my mother that the plumber would be arriving in about an hour to replace the boundary trap, just to keep her updated.

The funeral for a guy I didn’t like

funerals PerthI’m first one to admit that I never actually liked Jen. I know that he was a good guy but something about him always gave me pause. I know that he did not deserve what happened to him, nobody does. I feel bad about it all, it’s the reason why I plan to talk to the Perth funeral director, the one renowned for great funerals. I want to ask him if he’ll be willing to give Jen a good funeral. Personally I do not know who was responsible for Jen passing on. I guess it doesn’t matter now, you can’t change the past. I feel bad for his wife and for his kid, little Jen Jr. We all love that little guy, his fighting spirit. He’s been in a wheelchair all his life but the little guy doesn’t let it get him down. I don’t know how they’re going to get by without the extra income to support all the hospital stays. I hope they opt for a closed coffin, I don’t want him to remember his father that way.

When it’s all said and done, he was a good man and he deserves a good funeral. His wife will make all the arrangement for the cremation, Perth friends and family will be there to help her through the hard part. I’m going to offer to help pay for the funeral director, it’s the least I can do. If only I could do more to ease their suffering. I hope the funeral service does him justice, I want to get someone to sing his favourite song at the funeral. I know that’s a little out of the ordinary but it’s the sort of thing that I think he would like. I heard that his sister was planning on attending, she should stay the heck away from the funeral. She is part of the reason why he isn’t with us today. That’s a story for another time.