The Kitchen Must Sparkle…

Dandenong pest controlThe best thing about working from home: pajamas. No, but seriously, pajamas all the way, forever, all the time, thanks very much. There’s nothing more comfortable, even when I’m baking and I have to put on the apron over the top. Something about standing there in my cosiest getup, baking cakes and biscuits for clients, just makes me feel so warm inside, and outside as well. So yep, never going into an office. I don’t think I’d be able to take the pressure of dressing up nice.

The downside? Well, you have to be able to keep things clean. My business depends on things being spick and span, and it’s not like I have cleaners that come at the end of the day and do it all for me. Makes me a bit paranoid, if I’m honest. Just think about what you’d be like if you saw some ants, or a rat in your office breakroom. You’d shrug and tell the boss, maybe. Meanwhile I see one ant and I make a panicked call to my local Pakenham pest control experts. They now know me by my first name and usually start by telling me to calm down. That’s how familiar we’ve gotten.

I suppose I’ve also learned to deal with things myself. I just dread he day when the health inspector comes over, I’ve made everything sparkle like it’s newer than new, only to have a cockroach scuttle across their clipboard. Oh, the horror! Or worse, I have nightmares about delivering a cake to a wedding and unveiling it in front of the bride, only for her to gaze upon a half-eaten cake infested with ants. That’s when I wake up in a cold sweat and reach for the phone to call the pest control people again, even in the middle of the night. I should stop being paranoid, particularly since I spent a fortune making my cleaning supplies a veritable force for good against dirt and grime. There’s only so much you can do, really, and if you keep food around then little critters and going to come for it. One day they’ll come for me, I just know it. They’re out there, somewhere. Maybe Dandenong. Pest control will save my business one day, mark my words!


Making the Best of the Play Centre

bayside kids party venueMust I continue to tolerate the other children? So long as I hide my genius from the world, I suppose the answer is a cantankerous ‘yes’ for the time being. Oh, what a misfortune to befall a mind such as mine!

The issues of other seven-year-olds just do not fascinate me, and along the same vein, I am perplexed by their constant need for play instead of a healthy balance with that of work. Work is the only thing that truly completes a person in the end.

There’s this place at the end of the road, a new indoor play centre here in Bayswater. The parents seem to have gotten the idea into their heads that I’d like to visit on a regular basis, and to maintain my cover, I must play along and pretend I find all this thrilling. My first few visits were dreary affairs, as I gain little pleasure from playing in a ball pit and using slides. However, I soon turned these opportunities into study sessions. The winding tunnels of the play equipment provide ample space for me to pull out my notepad and perhaps make calculations on the mass of the structure, detailed estimations as to exactly how many balls are in the pit and the precise mass that the safety netting would be able to withstand. I have no real opportunity to conduct clinical trials, but these are interesting enough conundrums that cannot be carried out in the home. Our home is so very dull, and I have no other children to observe in their favoured habitat.

Oh, it’s favoured alright. They seem to love all the climbing and such, with many of them applying their imagination in ways that, I must admit, are somewhat impressive. One young girl with a teddy bear commands the rest of the children with such ferocity that i think she must have a successful political career ahead of her.

No matter. The parents believe this particular Bayswater kids party venue is my favourite place to be. It’s variety, at least.