Little Guy’s Agent

I like to consider myself a hero to small people. Like, the literal small people. I’m a buyer’s advocate, you see, and I have marketed my business around helping people who look like they aren’t old enough to buy a home do exactly that. After all, it’s not their fault that they have the face of a child when they are actually a fully grown adult. Why should they not be able to buy a home?

My story begins when I was just a junior buyer’s advocate. Melbourne was a crazy place at the time, back in the 90s. I was working for this big agency, taking my lunch break on a warm summer’s day. I saw someone enter through the front door, looking like three little boys stacked on top of each other in a trench coat. I knew better, though, because nobody would be stupid enough to actually try that. Therefore, it stood to reason that they were not actually three kids in a trench coat, but merely a fully grown adult who just looked oddly suspicious.

So, you can imagine my horror when the receptionist calls over the boss, and he tells this, unfortunately, suspicious man to get lost because he isn’t old enough to buy a house. I thought my boss was a buyer’s advocate in the Kew area that treated everyone fairly. It turns out that was wrong. Like, did he just assume that person’s age? 

He was just a judgemental monster, so I quit right then and there, swearing to start my own buyer’s advocacy that stood up for people like Mr Business, my unfortunate friend and first-ever client. I can’t even describe the pride that went through me when he bought his house. I shook his hand, which because of his birth deformities looks and feels like a broom, and told him to enjoy the rest of his life.

I’ve been standing up for the adults who look more like children ever since. It’s a really rewarding job, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.