The Ultimate Zen Experience…Indoors

garden supplies Carrum DownsSo, what we have here is me making the best of a bad situation. We probably weren’t meant to receive what seems to be just over a ton of crushed rock, particularly since we live on the sixth floor and nobody ordered anything like this. The polite delivery men checked their records and said that there couldn’t be anything else, and they can’t come up with anywhere the rock could be. But by then, they’d already kindly lugged most of it up the stairs and left it in the hallway. Plus it’s been paid for, so…I took it in, like a good citizen.

All the housemates were away for the weekend, so they basically left me to deal with this myself, even though they didn’t know it was going to happen, but it’s STILL selfish. Very selfish indeed.

What I’m trying to say is that we have a zen garden inside now. I had to drive to Carrum Downs, buy garden supplies and make sure I had a really sturdy rake, because I’ve seen the way you rake the stones on those tiny little ones that you put on your desk and I knew we’d need something a lot less dainty than that. I managed to spread the crushed rock over basically the entire floor of the apartment, after which I set about looking in the garden centres nearby for a bonsai. Those are not available, so I swapped in an Albajerian maple, which is now in the middle of the lounge.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I bought wooden sandals for everyone so we can traverse the stones. I think it’ll give us a real appreciation of the Japanese ways, and how they are vastly superior to our own. Oh yes, indeed.

The way I see it, this was the only thing to be done. If the housemates don’t like it when they get back, well…they can find somewhere that sells aggregate in Berwick or wherever to take all of this rock. But I really do think we have something great and unique here.


Flowers for All Your Romantic Needs

standard rose

They say romance is dead. Well, I’m not going to judge, because it’s not like I spend most of my time hiding in bushes and observing romantic couples. That’d be so weird! And I definitely don’t hack into phone networks and read texts, or intercept flower deliveries and read the cards, because that’d be even stranger. Yep, just a whole tidal wave of strange, that’s what that is. Nope, I’ve just been participating in nice, normal discussions on forums such as Geddit and Tweeter, and my online friends and I have come to the conclusion that romance is a dying art.

It’s like just don’t know there are standard roses for sale on street corners, and also online, because sometimes I’ve seen (or heard) about guys showing up for dates holding a bunch of pansies or something. Pansies are nice, but not date material, clearly. It doesn’t always have to be roses, but for the important occasions…yeah, it really does have to be roses. They’re the international symbol of love across all the world, and if you can’t dig up your loose change and buy her a beautiful, single rose, you don’t deserve a fulfilling romance. FACT. Or it could be the girl giving the guy a rose- times have changed, roles can flip flop a bit, and it’s really just an exchange of flowers. Maybe they can go dancing and he can put the rose in his teeth while they tango, so it’s functional. And did you know, I once saw a guy bringing a girl daffodils. What an amateur!! They’re supposed to be for the kitchen table. Might as well have just pelted her with daffodil flower bulbs, for how romantic that was. Even a cutting of the bush I was hiding in at the time would’ve made for a better gift.

Not that I do that. I’m normal.