There comes a time in every young man’s life that he needs to request better wallpaper from his parents. This is a potentially scary time, one that may burn some bridges and cause a degree of awkwardness. It is a period of transition, perhaps the time when he becomes a man, in some small way. But I have no choice.
I’ve grown up with floral wallpaper, but I’m 13 now, and it’s time for a change. I shouldn’t feel bad about asking either, because it’s not my fault that the doctors messed up and told my parents they were having a girl, thus causing them to decorate my room in such a manner. I think in the initial shock after I was born, it never really occurred to them that the walls being covered in roses and pansies and various types of orchids wasn’t really something I’d grow up to like. Yes, I have had friends back here, and even though I try to direct their attentions towards my Y-Box and its wide selection of first-person shooters, I see the glances towards the walls. I see the judgement in their eyes as they look away from the screen in the middle of gunning down an alien, and the confusion as they attempt to figure out why I’ve grown up in a room full of flowers.
I’m happy to sit down with my parents and look into wallpaper options, of course. This time I’ll actually have a hand in the selection process, and I have no intention of going overboard. I want something stylish and tasteful, not garish, like rocket ships or the like. I’m no longer a child, after all. I’m sure there are designer wallpaper manufacturers available in Melbourne who can not only follow a brief, but suggest suitable alternatives. Or failing that, I’ll just make it blue. You can’t go wrong with blue.