Kids Need to Hear That Educational Funk

indoor play centre MelbourneKids love rap, and I can prove it. I’ve taken my traveling rap show up and down the country, visiting almost every single kids party venue, Melbourne to Jandakot, Jandakot to Perth, Perth to Sydney, and other places!!

Although getting booking has been somewhat hard. Parents and guardians often aren’t that happy when they hear I’ll be performing rap; I usually have to whip out the balloon animals to set their minds at ease. So I mix up the rap with the balloon animals, and then if I get to the end of the performance and the parents are looking extra horrified, I just whip out my pre-pre-prepared pass-the-parcel. It’s way too much of a classic for my refined modern tastes, but it does appeal to the parents, and the kids appreciate the thrill of the game.

Thing is, people just need to get it out of their heads that rap is wrong. If they listened to the lyrics, they’d know that they’re all about how to cross the street correctly, why you shouldn’t eat things that fall on the floor and the importance of broccoli. I’m doing something that really should fit right into the ethos of a party venue, which is keeping the tone chill and teaching kids valuable life lessons. But no…it’s rap, so it’s got to be corrupting the children.

At least some parents are starting to realise the truth and give me some very nice reviews. And it takes quite a bit of skill! My raps aren’t written; I freestyle for about 45 minutes on subjects I think kids need to know.

People will see, eventually. Rap is the way. Every single indoor play centre in Australia will have rap ringing through their halls, just like all the indoor play centres in Melbourne seem to have ball pits. Wow, so many ball pits. Maybe I need to include a few minutes of spitting lyrics on ball pit safety? No dunkin’ or divin’, wiki wiki.

-Funky Franklin

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