The Greatest Scandal

I cannot BELIEVE we’re having a scandal. This is so good, like, you can’t even believe. Months, years I’ve been coming along to these Aluminium Appreciation Society meetings, and while I came at first out of a genuine desire to share my passion and discuss the advantages of under body boxes as compared to draw systems, I felt that slowly fade. It’s just…the organisers don’t seem to think anything should change, ever. Same meeting, every week, seemingly forever.

Until now, because oh boy, this last meeting was a cracker of a time. So we were in the middle of voting on a new policy wherein aluminium accessories should be categorised by usage instead of alphabetically. That’s about as exciting as the meetings usually get, but then Roy- he’s one of the older guys- mentions that he’s been doing some research on steel, and it’s actually more versatile than the official club statement of intention would have you believe. We all have to read it out in front of everyone when we join; it’s a bit strange, but there’s nothing TOO bad in there. Just that we have to forsake all other metals in favour of the one true giver of life and industry, aluminium, may it live forever in human history, and that all other metals are dead to us and…yeah, okay, that’s not sounding great now that I’m looking back on it.

I don’t know why Roy said it, but I think he was as bored as I was. Dissenting voices began to join in, some admonishing and others agreeing, and a few people apparently confessing that they own things like wooden step ladders and plastic tools.

Soon, it was utter chaos, and everyone stormed off in a huff, loading their aluminium toolboxes into their utes and driving off into the night. But maybe…people drove off with a few things off their chests. The place needed a shakeup. Aluminium is great, but obsessive behaviour is not.