Playing Terra Area

The other day I bought a new game on Smoke, the best marketplace for video games online. They’re always having these great sales, so I bought the 2D explorer game Terra Area. It’s a bit like Craft a Mine but with more to do. I hesitated to buy it for a long time because I honestly wasn’t sold on it, but when it’s on sale for fifty cents, how could I say no?

And I’ve got to say, I made a real mistake waiting this long to buy it. The first thing the game asked me to do was name my world. I live in Tasmania, so I wrote the first thing I thought of: Hobart. Maybe that’s a bad name for a fantasy video game world, but I don’t think it matters. Then I made my character and got into the game.

When my world was completely loaded, I was given my first mission: find the man who can complete a transmission repair. Hobart needs a working transmission in order to make any real progress, apparently. It wasn’t the kind of mission I was expecting. In fact, I’m not even sure what a transmission is in this sense. Maybe it transmits radio signals to outer space? My hope, though, is that by finding the transmission repairman, I’ll be able to get a working car and travel around the 2D sandbox world of Hobart faster. That would be pretty cool.

So I set out on my quest, armed with only a brass dagger and a set of leaf armour. For in-game days I walked across the world, seeking the repairman. I travelled through desert, tundra and jungle to find him. Eventually I came to an ancient ruin and found a man who offered auto electrical repairs across Hobart. He also said that if I build him a house, he’ll move into it, meaning I won’t have to travel so far to talk to him again. That’s pretty cool!

Of course, I didn’t have any money, so I couldn’t pay for his transmission repair service at the time. I walked back to the middle of Hobart and started building houses for my NPCs. Now I just have to get some money and I’ll be on my way to beating the Sun King boss!

Zebraman’s Laundry Panic

I can do this. I can totally do this, right? There’s no need to panic. Sure, I’m trapped in a room with twenty-four hours to create the perfect laundry design. Sure, I cheated on the last challenge and have no idea what I’m doing. But I can get out of this. I have to. I’m Jack Zebraman. You’ve probably heard of me because I am very famous. Famous people don’t get put in situations like this. I’ve got to be like the protagonist of Black and White and find a way out of this.

Oh man, why couldn’t they have just asked me to do a kitchen installation instead? I could have done that. Okay, just breathe, Jack. You’ve got this. Don’t panic. You’re a movie star. You can do literally anything you set your mind to. No, you don’t know the first thing about making a laundry, and it’s true that it was probably a mistake to go on Next Top Office, but you can do this. I know you can because you’re Jack Zebraman.

I think I’m feeling a bit better now. I suppose it’s time to sit down at my desk and get to work. At least I don’t have to physically build the laundry. I just have to design it. I would have preferred to create the a kitchen design concept, Melbourne style, but that’s all right. It’s probably not even that different. Yeah, just put the sink in a different position, add a few driers and washing machines where the dishwasher, refrigerator and oven would be and you’re done. See, how easy was that?

Now that you’ve got the idea in your head, it’s time to draw it out. Never mind the fact that your high school art teacher called your drawings a crime against blind people. It’s been years since then. You’ve improved. Just put the phone down and stop typing up a blog post to put on the internet later. There’s work to be done.

Frankie’s Plan

For the first challenge on Australia’s Next Top Office, we’ve been asked to start outside by building a glass balustrade for our balconies. It certainly wasn’t what I was expecting, but I’m up for any trial they can throw at me! I want the kids back in my class to view this show and see that their awesome teacher, Ms Frankie, can do anything. And that means they can achieve anything they want to as well!

I’ve been doing a lot of research before the actual challenge period begins. I’m sure the other contestants were smart enough to do that as well. These days you can learn pretty much anything on the internet. So I’ve watched plenty of videos on glass repair and balustrade installation. I think I have a pretty good idea of what to do now. The competition is fierce, though. I’ll have to play this strategically if I want to win. Not just this specific game, but the whole show in general. If I race ahead and show that I’m a real threat, I’ll be putting a target on my back. It might be worth throwing the challenge altogether so that nobody expects much from me going forward. I’ll still try, though. Maybe I just won’t try my absolute hardest.

The good thing about all this research is that I could become a glass balustrade specialist, Melbourne having plenty of glass-filled offices, if I ever wanted to leave my teaching career. At the very least I’ll be able to teach my glass all about it. They’re sure to love the new material. It’s certainly better than studying mathematics or anything else that’s actually on the curriculum. How boring! Schools don’t do enough to prepare students for the real world, which is why I teach them about taxes, plumbing and everything in between. 

Okay, I need to stop reminiscing about my job and focus on the task ahead. Let’s do this thing, but not too well! Let’s do an adequate job of making a glass balustrade and finish in third place!

Mechanic Recommendation

Have you been watching Australia’s Next Top Office season two? It’s the biggest cultural item at the moment. The show is on Not Flicks, Australia’s biggest streaming service for everything that isn’t a movie. The competition is fierce (apparently one of the contestants was liquified before the show even started), and the prize one that’s well worth fighting for. Six people have travelled to Sweden, Victoria to build corporate offices from scratch. It’s compelling viewing, although I wouldn’t have thought so a week ago.

You see, I only just got into it. I thought the show sounded kind of dumb, possibly even too absurd to be real. But the other day I was getting a car service at an auto electrician local to Milperra. I was talking to the mechanic, and he mentioned that the show was really good, so I decided to check out the highlights on MyVideo. I’ve been hooked ever since. That night I binged season one and the episodes of season two that have come out. It’s seriously good stuff.

I should have known this show would be good if a mechanic liked it. There have been studies to show that mechanics have the best taste in popular culture out of any type of worker. That means if you aren’t sure whether to watch, read or play something, all you have to do is go onto social media and ask ‘is there a mechanic near me who likes Planet of Crafting Wars?’ If the answer is yes then it’s probably worth checking out.


So, what do I hope will happen in the remaining episodes of ANTO? At the moment I’m hoping Jack Zebraman wins, even though he’s cheated on a couple of the contests. He just seems like a pretty cool dude, and besides, he is very famous, so you’ve probably heard of him. Then again, the Glass Smashing Bandit and Space Wizard make a pretty good duo, so I wouldn’t mind seeing them take home the prize.