So, I’ve got a random question for you, dear reader. Totally random. Definitely has nothing to do with what happened to me yesterday. Anyway, so what would you think if you knew someone who looked like a scorched black walking skeleton with the power to control the earth itself? Because I definitely think I’d want to be that guy’s friend. Sure, he might look like a complete monstrosity that would commit acts so terrible that they can’t be mentioned here, but I’m sure he would be a good guy.
Like, I know this is all hypothetical, but imagine this guy, this man, this poor man, who was just going about his business. Imagine he walks into his bathroom one morning and just feels the urge to call a bathroom design business within Melbourne because he feels that a renovation is in order. But as he turns to leave the room, he notices that one of the tiles is out of place. He moves it aside and sees a dark stone pulsing with energy. Curious, he shrugs his shoulders and touches the rock. Suddenly the earth beneath him gives way and a sinkhole opens up beneath his house.
You’d feel sorry for that guy, right? You’d want to be his friend still? I definitely would. Sounds like he’s had a rough day or two and could use some support. All he wanted was some bathroom renovations. He didn’t ask to be turned into a strange creature. He didn’t ask to get weird powers he can’t control. He didn’t ask to look like a Bionic Cool or something.
Alright, I’ll level with you guys. It’s me. I’ve been turned into this horror. I’m feeling really vulnerable right now, so if you have it in you to leave some positive comments, I’d really appreciate it. For now, I think I’m going to just make myself a cup of tea and hope nothing else breaks around me. That said, I’m not sure I even can drink tea anymore.
– Earth Man Tyrone