Fortune Competition Results!

Recently I posted about a competition being held on this website, where the winners would receive a free fortune, valued at $500 dollars each. We had over six thousand people submit their entries, telling us all about their future ambitions and goals. Today I’m proud to announce the winners and publicly post their fortunes here. Without further ado, let’s get started. Congratulations to Charlie, our first winner.

Charlie, you told us all about how you were looking for new options to liven up your office space and increase the morale of your team, as they continue to sell hotcakes like… well, hotcakes. We’ve consulted the stars and found that the answer to your question is in commercial office design. Around Melbourne, that’s the hottest thing at the moment. Given that your star sign is Virgo, we feel strongly that you should use a bright and pink theme for your office. Have a pancake party every day!

Our second winner is Derek from New York. Derek’s family is having some issues, so he wanted us to do a tea-leaf reading, revealing the pathway forward. Uh oh! Looks like there’s great woe ahead for Derek and there’s nothing he can do to help the situation. That’s a real shame.

Congratulations to Rex, our third and final winner. Rex works in Melbourne. Office fitouts are his jam, he says. Well, isn’t that a great coincidence! Rex wanted to know where he could find a client for his business. As it turns out, we don’t have to do any psychic consultations at all. Rex, meet Charlie. Charlie, meet Rex. Charlie needs someone to make her office space nicer. Rex needs a client for office design and fitouts. It’s a perfect match! I can’t believe we’ve done it again.

Thank you to everyone who submitted their entries for this competition. We had a truly wonderful time running it. A big congratulations to our three winners, Charlie, Derek and Rex!

Not Easy, Being the Boss

recruitment agencyI’ve been pretty fortunate when it comes to careers. Most people don’t have a business mentor from the age of fifteen, but my dad pulled some strings and I basically got a head start over the competition. Got my first proper job when I was eighteen, worked my way up and now at 22 I own my own company. It’s not a HUGE company, but…it’s mine. I enjoy what we do here. Got a small team, niche area of business and I can see a lot of potential for growth.

But then I’m still learning a lot about stuff as well, like how to properly host a meeting. My first one was awful, not going to lie. I offered the guy a lemonade, because he seemed like a lemonade kind of guy, and he looked at me weird. Okay, so…tea and coffee in future.

Dealing with recruitment agencies is interesting. I needed a marketing person and I didn’t just want to ask Dad or whatever, so I trawled for marketing recruitment agencies in Melbourne. Turns out it’s not QUITE as simple as just giving them a call, asking for someone good at marketing and having them shipped into the office the next day in a brown box. That’d be nice. But no, you have to prove your business credentials, commit to an interview process and then advertise fairly, which is a whole another thing that has nothing to do with the recruitment people. Nah, they’ve been great about the whole thing. It’s just that owning a business comes with a metric ton of paperwork, and I’m still working on getting it all together.

Man, being the boss is tough. Now I need to think about the digital marketing person I want on the team, whether they’re going to gel with everyone else, whether I need a brand manager down the line or whether I can double up on the job of the digital marketing person to save money, which is SUPPOSED to be a bad thing. At least I’m sort of familiar with the local Melbourne recruitment agency way of doing things.

I think I’m getting better at being the boss, but still…no amount of mentoring prepared me for all the paperwork. And now, the interviews.


My Flowers Upstaged, My Plan Ruined

Hyacinth Delft BlueYou may already know the pain of the office resident who is seemingly capable of everything. My calculations were solid, and my predictions were well-grounded in my personal algorithm. The only unexpected factor…was him. Even his daffodil varieties are perfect, and it took almost no nudging to cause him to bring them into the office. My area of ultimate expertise, taken away from me. The adoration, ultimately lost. My days upon weeks of triumph, coloured black and grey in sorrow.

To make matters worse, he brushes off his incredible ability with nary a mention, such an arrogance that I can barely contain my rage. Before he came along, I had the office resting in my well-sanitised palm. My policies were being accepted one after another, and I had won employee of the month three months running for my suggestions of new legislation. There was to be no running in the hallways, no swapping of printer codes and certainly no re-using of plastic cups when engaging the services of the water cooler. It was a clean, sanitary working environment that I was aiming for, and best of all, I was accomplishing this without sacrificing any of my colleague’s approval. My changes were viewed for the better, and I was a popular figure. It also helped that my own false modesty was programmed to each exact contraction of my facial muscles. I tell you, humans are putty when you run the numbers. Number have never lied to me, ever, and I was on track for promotion. In fact, after my gift of daffodil bulbs to the entire office, an expression of my ‘gratitude’, I was more popular than ever.

But this newcomer…he is either the most disgustingly genuine person I’ve ever met or his skill with numbers surpasses mine, which I cannot accept. His natural skill, charm and hint of mystery have ruined everything, and his skill at growing hyacinths is the final straw. I must do something drastic, and quickly.