My parents have always accused me of being lazy and dirty and ever since I’ve lived alone, I’ve been liberated from their judgement. It was always, “Melissa clean your room!” and “Melissa, tidy up your mess!” Ever since I moved out, I’ve felt so free. I can leave my clothes on the floor and dishes in the sink, with no one to tell me what to and what not to do. Sadly, the time has come where I might have to consider getting upholstery cleaning. Melbourne gets so dusty in the Summer because everything is so dry.
People don’t realise how much time you save by not cleaning. You spend hours of your life putting clothes on racks and drying dishes to stack them into neat columns. Probably you spend days doing these things. Cut all of this out and you can spend more time doing what you love, like bike riding, painting or playing poker. Unfortunately, now that my parents are coming to town to visit me, I’m going to have to sacrifice some of this splendid personal time. They’re going to visit me at my apartment, to judge and scold me on my lifestyle no doubt, so I’m going to throw their expectations by getting a last minute clean. I’ll take the rubbish out, put the dishes away, and fold my clothes up nicely. I’m going to do everything from carpet cleaning to mattress cleaning, Melbourne is my playground. Nothing slips past my parent’s fastidious eye. I know that they’ll be peaking beneath the rug to find any crumbs which might have been brushed under there, and behind the curtains for any stray balls of dust. They’re going to get the shock of their lives when they see what I’ve done to the apartment. Little will they realise that I’ve been the same all along, and that the cleanliness is just a charade.