It’s not weird, taking a night course on how to grow plants…right? I mean, some of us just aren’t gifted in that area. I, in particular, struggle with all of that…business. Alright, I’ve killed everything I’ve ever grown. It’s true! If there was some kind of plant-based police, I’d be public enemy number one, a dangerous serial killer whose good intentions have claimed dozens of victims. Part of it is because I’m forgetful- the complete lack of watering is why the hyacinth bulbs I planted didn’t go anywhere- and the other parts, I’m not sure. I suppose I’ve never been one for instructions, because it conflicts with my devil-may-care attitude and lack of regard for protocol. Huh, maybe that’s it.
But then I was reading the paper, looking for used Cadillacs as I tend to do on most mornings, and then I saw it. Plant course, free! Well, the first lesson is free, and you can see how you like it. They tell you how to grow anything you could imagine, right from tulips and daffodils and culminating in that weird flower that only blooms once per year. Personally, I’m fine with just the tulips, but I’ll take what I can get. See, my parents always had the most beautiful garden, and now that I have a place of my own I think they expect me to at least make SOMETHING of it. At the moment, all I have is grass, dirt and a really scraggly tree that’s currently dropping these sharp little leaves all over the doorstep and ruining the mat. No, I need some education, and I can’t just ask Mum because it’d be embarrassing. Like, “Hi Mum, everything you taught me went in one ear and out the other, what a failure I am, want to teach me everything you know again?”
I have to do this by myself. All they want you to bring for the first lesson is a set of tulip varieties, to start off. Maybe this time, under the watchful eye of a teacher…I can grow something to make my parents proud.