Hyperbarics saved my house robber

portable hyperbaric chamberI have a great big fish tank at home. It’s quite an impressive display. It’s actually super deep with a glass top you can see down into. It’s about 50 feet deep and contains my collection of rare and expensive tropical fish. There’s my candy basslet Pinkman. A bit of an exhibitionist, she likes to swim laps around the centre of the tank. Then there’s my masked angelfish, Mr Swimmy, he likes to hide behind some rocks at the bottom. I think he’s scared of my Platinum Arowana, King, who really is the boss of the tank. Anyway, my beautiful expensive collection of pet fish were recently almost stolen by a house robber. But that’s not the worst thing that happened. If it wasn’t for my portable hyperbaric chambers, I’d be facing serious charges right now.

What happened was, he came in while I was asleep, probably thinking that the house was empty. But when I got out of bed, I caught him with his hands in the fishtank reaching for my $400,000 Platinum Arowana. I told him to freeze, and rushed towards him to save my precious fish, but in the process I knocked him into the tank. Mr Swimmy and Pinky were swirling frantically around while their home was being invaded by a huge balaclaved head. King stood by, which a barely perceptible smirk on his face.

I have never in my time seen a man sink like he did. I had to grab my snorkel gear just to fetch him out of there. I knew I might get sued for this, even though I was defending my own property. I had to think fast, Melbourne hyperbaric oxygen therapies have been known to save lives, so I put him in mine. When the man came to, he couldn’t remember a thing, and praised me for saving his life. I promptly called the police. Nobody touches my fish.